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“Enjoy your mess, enjoy your tidy”, that’s a little childlike phrase I made up for myself to help me to keep perspective, keep calm and resist the temptation to be overwhelmed. If you think about it, as perhaps silly and simplistic as it at first seems, it is quite a loaded little phrase. For I’m […]
via Enjoy your mess…enjoy your tidy… — Life as it happens to be
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“Enjoy your mess, enjoy your tidy”, that’s a little childlike phrase I made up for myself to help me to keep perspective, keep calm and resist the temptation to be overwhelmed.
If you think about it, as perhaps silly and simplistic as it at first seems, it is quite a loaded little phrase. For I’m sure that I’m not alone in the temptation to feel overwhelmed when outer clutter begins to encroach upon my inner calm, that as it is, is quite a delicate thing to try to maintain.
In seeking to encourage myself, I also encourage you to put your housekeeping ‘to-do’ list down for a moment, regardless of what is going on around you. Have a cuppa, take a deep breath, and enjoy a moment of a recalibrated perspective.
Instead of feeling overwhelmed or annoyed at yourself for the mess you’ve managed so far not to properly attend to, “enjoy your mess”. Look around you at all of the stuff that you are privileged to have to mess up your home in the first place. Take a moment to be truly grateful that you have a home to get messy, when so many people go without. Be thankful that you have more than enough, and perhaps more than you need, and instead of feeling guilty about this, and planning how to give more to other people, first just STOP. Be. Enjoy the mess.
And enjoy the process of tidying. Of being able to move and have the ability to do things, be grateful if you have been so blessed that you have limbs and movement, and perhaps even freedom from pain. And if you do not enjoy these things, consider what you *are* able to do, and enjoy and be thankful for those things.
Slow down, take your time, rushing through each task doesn’t necessarily make you more effective, but it probably does make you more overwhelmed.
And when you do reach that place of being able to ‘enjoy your tidy’….truly enjoy it. Even if you are on your own, or if you have kids rushing about, or if things seem to be descending into chaos again. Just take that moment. Enjoy. And keep this in mind as the days go on and the cycle repeats. And don’t forget to take care of yourself as you take care of your home and those you love.
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Today after work, I took down my Christmas tree. I know, it’s January 23rd, and for some of you that’s a ridiculously long time to keep the tree up. Aside from the fact that the ‘true meaning of Christmas’ can’t be confined within one single day, and should be celebrated in our hearts all year […]
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Today after work, I took down my Christmas tree. I know, it’s January 23rd, and for some of you that’s a ridiculously long time to keep the tree up. Aside from the fact that the ‘true meaning of Christmas’ can’t be confined within one single day, and should be celebrated in our hearts all year around, I also happen to live in a 10th floor flat / apartment, and therefore enjoy a relative degree of anonymity and don’t have to worry about what my neighbours think, as they can’t see into my living room! And furthermore, I have felt the need and desire to hold on to the cosiness of the Christmas and festive season for as long as I can due to the fact that it’s mid-January and in my part of the world we’ve been experiencing snow days and the kind of weather that makes you want to hibernate, but alas, work beckons and necessitates leaving the house. So to have a cosy Christmassy space has been a comfort to me, as I hide away from the wind and the rain. I am someone who keeps my fairy lights up all year round, the soft yellow-white ones that add a little touch of comfort to the atmosphere of my home…
However, today was the day to take the Christmas tree down, pack it away in its box and begin to take the decorations down too. I found myself feeling a little ‘blue’ as it were, because although January, a new month, season and year has begun, the dark days and nights have not yet lifted, which makes it harder to say goodbye to the lights and colours and enchantment of Christmastime.
I am fortunate enough to now live in a city where every January there is a musical festival running from around 19th January to 4th February, with several live music events, many of which are free to attend, attracting talent not only from home, but also internationally. It is a real cultural ‘pick me up’ during the dark and damp start of the year that we often experience. As I put my tree away I had some music playing in the background to remind me of this, by way of encouragement. I also reminded myself of the One Constant Source in Life, that Is God. And I found myself contemplating the lessons that nature, with unswerving regularity teaches us with every passing season and year of life: to accept the season of life that we are in. When I think about it, I realise that with the changing of seasons comes a blossoming, and flourishing like the leaves on a tree, that then wither and perish (you may relate to my reference here), giving way once more to new life, to seasons of waiting, of growth and of blossoming and fading as the cycle continues. There is struggle in nature, but not the same ‘fight’ that we humans often inflict upon ourselves. There is a silent, constant acceptance of this natural change, as one season fades or bursts vibrantly into the next, inhabiting its space in time for what it is…something that too, in its time, will pass and change once more.
And this is a lesson for me, for us, as well. One that it seems, every few months, we need reminded of, perhaps because we are so slow to learn. Life has seasons of joy and sorrow, and although we may enjoy one season more than another, we must let things unfold and take their course by accepting the season that we are in. Perhaps you are grieving, and your only comfort is that this too will pass. Or maybe you have experienced a wonderful season and want desperately to hold on to it for fear of change or disappointment or boredom, or the unknown. Let it open up and bloom into the fullness of life for such a time as this. And make it your priority to learn how to be rooted and built up, standing firm in season, accepting and being present in the life you are living now, knowing that things will inevitably change, but making the most of each precious moment, learning your deep lessons, and creating precious memories along the way…
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You were not put on this earth to be like anyone else. Think about that for a moment. Neither were you put on this earth to have exactly the same experience as anyone else (I have always been fascinated by twins, but as an ‘outsider’ to twin life I imagine that even then you have unique experiences that your twin won’t share…twins….feel free to comment! 🙂 ).
If you are new to my blog, I am a gentle follower of Christ…my posts do not always explore issues of faith, some are to do with art, health and beauty, self reflection, mental health, creative writing, travel, photography, food, music, basically my life ‘As it happens to be’…and all are welcome, but my relationship with Christ is what makes me me. ❤
There is an interesting passage in Scripture, towards the end of John’s Gospel of Jesus Christ, where Simon Peter, one of Jesus’ disciples is with Him after His resurrection. Simon Peter is somewhat of an impulsive guy, he makes great claims about his devotion to the Lord and displays a lack of self awareness of his own weakness and sin. Before Jesus was crucified, Simon Peter, just as His Lord knew he would and told him so, denied Jesus publicly three times, after his previous emphatic statement that even if everyone else left Him, he would not, he would rather die with Him. But Simon Peter did deny Jesus, and Jesus still loved Him and died for him. So, after all of this Jesus is with His disciples, and they are eating fish by the Sea of Galilee. Jesus, beautifully restoring Simon Peter to fellowship with Himself asks him three times if he loves Him, which is painful for Simon Peter, as he does love his Lord, and yet denied Him three times. Jesus, the Christ then goes on to tell Simon Peter what kind of death he will die, and Simon Peter replies by looking to John and saying something along the lines of “Well, what about him?!”, to which Jesus Christ basically tells Simon Peter what has that got to do with you, you follow Me.
And so we have it there, in the pages of Scripture a very 21st Century problem ~ “The Comparison Trap”. Whether you are a follower of Christ today or not, you have unavoidably fallen into this trap in your life, perhaps several times. You have looked away from your own life and purpose, looked around you and said in your heart or out loud, “hey, what about them?”. I reiterate: You weren’t put on this earth to be like anyone else around you, or to have exactly the same life experience as another person. And I say this with love, and through experiencing the hurts that such comparison can bring.
So what is it that makes you look away from your own life to compare with others? Being inspired by others is healthy, but comparing and sizing up your life against someone else’s is not. What makes you think “it’s not fair”, or “why not me?” or even “why me, and not them?”. What gives you ‘FOMO’ ~ that dreaded, technology exacerbated ‘Fear Of Missing Out’?
Is it your lack of health compared to your friend’s wellbeing? Is it the broken family life you’ve experienced compared with your peers’ happy family experiences? Is it your perceived lack of talents next to that person who seems to be able to do it all? Is it your bank balance, your height, weight, stature, physical appearance or employment status? What makes you look ‘next door’ and compare? Perhaps it is the hand that you don’t have to hold, the child that you don’t have to raise, or the problems that other people don’t have to deal with.
Or maybe, conversely you are proud of your greater level of health and fitness, of your ‘achievements’ as a family and of having a successful career. Maybe you are the one who is talented and can sing, draw, write, create music, travel, run a business, make amazing things and attract admiring glances that others you know cannot. Are you richer, taller, shorter, leaner, bigger, more handsome or beautiful, with a ‘better’ job than others around you? Do you take pride in that? Do you have that beautiful relationship and that family that you feel sorry some of your single or infertile or bereaved friends or acquaintances do not?
Sometimes comparison can be good when it leads to gratitude or inspiration, but not if it leads to pride, self exaltation or bitterness, envy, self pity or jealousy. It can be good to realise that you are the one with a roof over your head, and have food, money, clothes and warmth when others are homeless and suffering. This sort of comparison should lead to a deeper gratitude for your life, and a desire to reach out to others to treat them in the way that you would wish to be treated if you were in their situation. If someone has talents that you wish you had, perhaps you can let that inspire you to explore your own unique gifts and abilities. And perhaps more difficult for the heart’s journey, if someone has that child or children when you are unable to, can you be grateful for them, and pray for them, seek to help children who are unfortunate, and be pleased for those who are in a good home, loved and cherished, even if it is something that you do not know or don’t have the opportunity to give as much as you long to. Can you be pleased that the family as the building block of society is thriving among the lives of your friends, even when you find yourself ‘lacking’ in some way. Can you be happy for those couples if you find yourself single and wanting a life companion? Can you appreciate that their lives are not all plain sailing, and that there are blessings that you have that they do not, and that you might have more time and freedom than perhaps they do.
Our lives are different, complex, unique, and we all have things hidden within our hearts that no one else knows about, so to compare ourselves and our journey’s with each other in a negative way detracts from the richness of our shared journeys.
Yet, what I write is not a lecture to you of dos and do nots. It is simply to say that there is no one else like you, there never has been and there never will be. With all that you like and dislike about yourself, you are unique, one of a kind, irreplaceable, made for a purpose, loved and the only you there will ever be. You do not have to live in the comparison trap. You do not have to stay wounded there. You can rise high above it and learn to soar as you realise that your life will be lived out in a way no one else’s will, even in the smallest details if not the grandest achievements.
No one else can give to the world what you can, and perhaps you can help others to find and appreciate that in their lives too. We were never meant to be someone else’s copy, replacement or backup plan. You are incomparably you, so don’t ever fear missing out by not being like someone else or having the life that they have, or even having the life you wished you had. This is your journey, life it fully, right where you are. xxx
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What do those three words make you think of? ‘Quality of life’. (I mean in a general, everyday sense. I understand that there are many people who are or have friends or family members who are living through terminal illness, severe health challenges, bereavements and other major life challenges, which require sensitivity and compassion and an entirety of focus, therefore this post is aimed more generally, while my heart goes out to those who are struggling with the daily realities of such life circumstances).
I guess the phrase means different things to different people, but individually I think you ‘just know’ whether you are experiencing it or whether something is amiss. As explored in previous posts, we often don’t stop and realise what we really need to change until after we ‘burn out’ or struggle to survive our hectic and stressful days.
As someone who has had a long battle with complex post traumatic stress (notice, I leave out the word ‘disorder’, for we are overcomers and survivors of the brain’s natural coping reactions to severely stressful life experiences that were put upon us), severe clinical depression, resulting in for a few years chronic pain, and also generalised anxiety disorder, therefore quality of life is something I have had to think about a lot.
I am pleased so say that by the grace of God, and with a lot of hard work taking those small and seemingly insurmountable steps every day for years and years, I feel like I am stronger and in a better place.
So, ‘quality of life’ in an everyday sense….what does it mean? You know better what it is when you don’t have it. And what do you think about? Is it having time to yourself to rest and reflect? Experiencing exhilarating challenges and exploring new places? Having a peaceful family life, or finding contentment in your situation whether you have people around you or are ‘alone’? Is it being able to “enjoy your achievements as well as your plans”? To notice the simple things each and everyday?
It is a challenge that each of us have to take up to consider this question for ourselves, and then to give ourselves the permission to set about doing something about it for our own sakes and for those around us. I have taken the day off work today. I was getting to the stage of feeling like I wasn’t ‘coping’ so well, and that’s not the way I want to live. And I think with all I have been through, and all that you have been through in your life, it is a question that we need to *regularly* ask ourselves: am I living, experiencing a real quality of life, even in the simple things everyday, and if not, what am I going to do to make the changes I need to make?
For me some of these changes have taken years to accomplish having had the mountains of post traumatic stress, anxiety and depression to overcome. However simple they may seem, these changes are small victories in my life. And as each gain is made, the quality of life adds up over the years, as does our personal resilience to adversity, just as conversely each detriment adds up, each bad habit, each negative element that we allow to continue in our lives unchallenged.
Some of these changes for me include working on a better sleep routine, and eating more healthily, and looking after my body and mind. Having a time of morning devotions and prayer and seeking God, giving thanks and praying for myself and others, committing my day to Him and being gentle with myself when I don’t manage this and end up rushing. Taking time to slow down and notice the beauty in the everyday, ‘mundane’ things of life and appreciating what I have got. Taking time to create a peaceful living and working environment even if there are challenges in doing this, small changes can make a difference. Taking breaks, being mindful of my breathing, setting goals and plans, and taking the time to do more of what I enjoy, whether it is reading a book while waiting for the train, colouring during my lunch breaks at work, listening to music, giving myself more time so that I am not constantly rushing from place to place, and taking a day off when I need to if I can.
I am a great believer that the little things in life really do add up over time. What you are investing in today will impact your future and those of the people in your life in some way or another. Seeds of legacy. So take time to make time for yourself, small or big changes that will help you everyday to live more in alignment with what really matters, taking consideration of the foundation that you are building your life upon, so that you are living and not merely existing. Small steps, after all, lead to changed lives as the years roll by. God bless. x
I captured this picture last October at a beautiful light show organised in a woodland park area, called “The Enchanted Forest”, using a Panasonic Lumix camera with a Leica lens…
This was during a sound and light display and the light projections flowed in a kaleidoscopic movement in time with the music. The images came and went and one bright display changed into something vividly different within the blink of an eye. However, I was captivated by this projection of a ‘bird’ that flew and flapped its wings before swiftly transforming into a new array of patterns and colours. So I waited, waited for the projections to come round full circle as it were so that I could ‘snap’ the exact moment of this mystical metaphorical bird of light.
And I am glad I waited, for I took the time to remind myself both to look at life through the lens and capture these fleeting memories, but also to remember to put the camera down and *be* in the moment, living it, savouring it and experiencing it fully. However, life changes from one moment to the next, and it is pretty special I think, to be able to live it with a camera in hand for just the right moment too!
And if you happen to have stopped by to visit and read my post, and have got this far, thank you ~ and please leave a comment as to what is sparking your imagination at the start of this new year, and what dreams do you hope will take to flight? x
It’s January 7th 2018, and I don’t know for how long it is reasonable to talk about the ‘New Year’. One thing I do know however, is that it is always a good time to reflect upon our lives, and to consider whether there are ways we can do things differently, and to look for […]
via Slow down, just breathe, & live a little deeper this year… Part 1 — Life as it happens to be
Part 2 –
And so it continues. We embark upon a new moment together. I wonder what you have wondered about since reading my earlier post (above). I left you considering that perhaps universal childhood sense of a slowness of time, that somehow evaporates as adulthood rushes us from one fleeting year to the next, sometimes causing us to crash and burn through sheer exhaustion of the many things we need to get done in such a little amount of time.
And yet, perhaps we have more time than we think we have, as short as our lives may be. We fail to leave margins at the edges of our lives, and cram them so full that we can never keep up with ourselves. I’m not saying that as adults we should abandon our responsibilities so that we can gaze in absent minded wonder at the stars of our own imagining, but that perhaps we could…and should…be doing things a little differently, especially as we embark upon this new year.
What if being always active and busy with our ‘to dos’ is actually counterproductive? Perhaps all of our multitasking means that we are less focused, more anxious and more prone to making mistakes and taking longer in getting things done and having to redo a task to undo our mistakes. What if unchecked we let ourselves ‘burn out’ and in fact lose far more time than all that time we were trying to save in the first place?
There is something to be said for planning and preparing and knowing our responsibilities and dreams and setting goals to achieve them. And there is also something to be said about slowing down, and taking our time in each precious moment of our often busy and hectic lives. I can all but guarantee that if you do take your time, and see the opportunities in life’s simple (sometimes perceived as ‘mundane’) happenings, then you will find more enjoyment as you move through your days.
Maybe you can’t ‘get away from it all’, but can you get some of it away from you? Can you leave wider margins at the pages of your life as your days unfold so that you can slow down and live deeper rather than faster? Can you cut down the incessant stream of information you absorb through social media so as to be able to breathe, centre yourself and think more clearly, and perhaps spend a few more moments of your adult life enjoying the beauty of the simple things as you did as a child? Maybe instead of seeing all the chores that need to be done as a burden, you could change your perspective to gradually be able to see them as a joy? When you are present in the moment to be thankful for the ability to be able to perform such tasks, and even perhaps listen to some nice music or encouraging talks while you are doing what you are doing? I have started listening to my MP3 while vacuuming, and finding that I end up doing a more thorough job because I am enjoying myself and want to make the experience last a little longer – strange but true, I know! Or that when doing the dishes I might slow down to notice the warmth of water and the playfulness of the foam bubbles, and might be listening to something encouraging or inspiring at the same time. You might have a busy and hectic life, but there are ways in which all of us can widen those margins in our lives, and take time not just to exist, but to LIVE.
When thinking about your goals for this year, if you think that way in the first place, you might find that a more intentional way of living and doing the things that you otherwise would just like to get out of the way actually frees you to be more present, feel more connected with yourself and those around you, and be far more productive and efficient as you begin to learn and find new imaginative ways to enjoy the process of the everyday things of your life.
Which in turn ultimately means that you have more ‘breathing space’ to be able to more intentionally pursue those loftier goals that you may have, and to use your time on this earth each day as wisely as you can. For I assure you there is no one else on earth like you, who can express life the way you can and with the uniqueness that you have. And perhaps someone else in this life’s journey needs to hear what you have to say, or see that smile you have to offer when you have time to notice the beauty around you which you could not offer when otherwise stressed, anxious or preoccupied. You have something so special to give each and everyday, so first give yourself that breathing space, slow down, live a little deeper, so that this year ahead you will live more fully and deeply rather than just existing or getting by. I would love to see what you have to offer the world, and to hear of your hopes, dreams, goals and plans, and wish you wisdom, love and blessing in the year to come. x
It’s January 7th 2018, and I don’t know for how long it is reasonable to talk about the ‘New Year’. One thing I do know however, is that it is always a good time to reflect upon our lives, and to consider whether there are ways we can do things differently, and to look for new opportunities and new beginnings.
I don’t know about you, but I tend to find that as I get older the years seem to hurtle by (at least they did until more recently) in a way in which they didn’t when I was very young. Summers seemed to last forever, and every experience had a certain weight to it. I can remember squinting against the sun, and collecting molten droplets on my eye lashes. I remember sitting on the floor in the gym hall in primary school where we also had to wait in line for lunch, and where we had school assemblies, and noticing the way in which shafts of sunlight streaming through the high up windows caught falling dust particles that wouldn’t otherwise be seen. Sometimes experiences and boredom seemed to drag on, such as on rainy days when my parents were sleeping and I wanted to play, or sitting a test or waiting for that friend to come out to play. And yet, even in these times, I can remember being able to find simple, imaginative solutions to the problem of boredom by becoming wholly engrossed in my own playful reveries. Sometimes on days spent outside, and especially with friends, the possibilities of adventure seemed endless. And on rainy days inside playing by myself, I distinctly and vividly remember the worlds and adventures that I created all by myself and became engrossed in. Perhaps you can relate to these feelings from your own earlier experiences. Don’t get me wrong, my childhood wasn’t always a happy time, and sometimes not by a long shot, but still there were times when I was present, absorbed in the moment of play or adventure, and oblivious to the passing of time.
Perhaps you think, that’s all well and good, but as adults we can’t spend our time staring off into the distance when there are so many responsibilities and so much to do, and with every passing moment, and accumulating task, so little time. To which I’d like to remind you of those two little words that mean so much to so many of us, with a weight and force to stop us in our tracks: “Burn Out”.
Ironically enough, I have returned to my blog and am commencing this paragraph after stepping away to check on the food in my oven, when my leg brushed against the front of the open oven door causing me to gasp at the burning sensation! If ever there was an appropriate and timely lesson in mindfulness and avoiding burn out, that was it! Don’t worry, I’m ok 🙂 …..
Taking this to be a natural pause in ‘Life as it happens to be’, I’ll leave you momently to consider your own thoughts as I concentrate on monotasking and enjoying my dinner, so that I can focus all of my thoughts on part two of this post, to be continued later…. x
Life as it happens to be 