Life lessons from a common cold…

I don’t know about you, but where I am it seems to be the season for cold and flu viruses doing their rounds. This year, it seems to be hitting people a bit harder than usual, including myself. There are few places at the moment where you won’t encounter someone with a sore throat, cough, cold or who is generally looking and feeling ‘under the weather’. 

I am recovering (hence being able to sit up and write my blog) after being sick for over a week. I often find myself pondering, as my mind wanders, the analogies that exist between day to day happenings and life on a deeper level. So this time, friends, the life lessons come from the humble, common cold virus. 

I had set myself a goal of having zero sick days this year. I also was quite adamant that I wouldn’t get sick when I realised that there was something in the air, as it were.  However, those ‘promises’ were short lived when my body decided to grind to a halt against all my good intentions to stay well. I haven’t had a cold like this for quite a while, and certainly not one that caused me to be ill for over a week and unable to leave the house. Life has a funny way of teaching us. Here are some of the lessons that this cold taught me: 

1. Sometimes life just happens, and we have to ‘roll with it’.

As I mentioned, I had no intentions of getting sick, and with my regular routines of exercise and quite healthy eating, I was doing alright to maintain a good level of health. But as we know now, I did get sick, and there really wasn’t much I could do to stop that from happening. 

Sometimes life just happens, and we have to ‘roll with it’. Against all our plans, and despite our determination, sometimes life’s happenings get the better of us, and we find our self ‘on the bench’ or in the sick room, watching from the sidelines as everything continues without us . 

Have you ever been there? Whether you have or haven’t, there’s no sure way to know whether or not you will be in the future. While we can’t necessarily prevent certain things happening, we may be able to lessen the likelihood of them happening. And where we can’t do that, we can build our daily resilience by building our character, working on our attitude and mindset, and taking care of what has been put in our care…being ‘good stewards’ of our giftings, belongings, responsibilities and relationships. And if you haven’t been doing that, and you do find that ‘the rug has been pulled out from under you’, you can still be intentional about how you think about and respond to the situation you find yourself in.

2. Busy isn’t always best…listen to your body and mind when they urge you to rest.

Now, when I did accept that I wasn’t going anywhere fast, I came up with a plan to get better as soon as possible and get back to work within a day or two. While some people are able to do that, my body had other ideas, and I was devoid of much energy and unable to move or to do the simplest things. Most of us live in societies and cultures where we are constantly compelled to be busy. We equate busy with useful even though being busy doesn’t necessarily mean being productive. When we stop walking by rivers, or cloud gazing or listening to the rustle of leaves in the park, in other words when we don’t ‘stop to smell the roses’, we allow ourselves to tune out of creation’s natural rhythms, and tune into the chaotic frequency of noise, bustle, busyness, and the frantic hurry of modern day life. If you have ever experienced ‘burnout’, times of stress, anxiety, panic attacks or other similar symptoms, you know that there is only so much your body, mind and heart can take before it simply takes a break, with or without your permission. 

Believe me, busy isn’t always best…and I have a feeling that you know it yourself. Even when I was unwell, I wanted to clean, to tidy up the mess of the household work that I wasn’t able to do because I had no energy, and I just had to focus on getting better and obey my body which refused to do much at all other than rest, sleep, fight off the virus and ‘check out’ of ‘normal’ everyday life. 

Don’t let it get to the point in life where you burnout, and where you are forced to grind to a halt. Take care of yourself daily. Yes, we all have to deal with life in a rapidly changing, moving world (well, at least most of us do), but that doesn’t mean that you have to add that extra thing to your ‘to do list’. Stop and rest a while. If you work in an office, do you really have to sit at your desk to eat lunch? Can you just ‘get away’ from it all for 20 minutes, and find a few moments to yourself to rest and eat and think without interruption? Do you need to be ‘plugged in’ to the world and all its happenings 24/7? Can you switch off earlier or more often and limit the time you allow your mind to be bombarded and overloaded by messages, stories, images and the constant stream of information that we face in an online world? Can you take a walk in nature more often? Can you choose to read a book rather than scroll through news feeds? Can you find the time to take a nap? Do you really need to ‘do it all’, and if so, is that ‘one more thing’ you have to do worth sacrificing your mental and physical health and wellbeing for? 

3. We need each other

Robert Putnam in his well known article, ‘Bowling Alone’ wrote about the importance of ‘social capital’ in a world where people are increasingly ‘bowling alone’. We all gain from positive interactions, connections and relationships. It is necessary for a healthy society and healthy individuals. 

I live alone, and when I was sick I really struggled to simply look after myself. How nice it would have been to have someone help out with simple things like doing the dishes, preparing food, or getting medicine. If you have such a someone in your life, please let them know you appreciate them 🙂 I had to do it all myself, but thankfully I was able to order groceries and cough and cold medicine to be delivered to my flat and that certainly helped when I was unable to go outside. While I didn’t have physical help, I did have contact over the phone with my family, and even that helped ‘keep me going’. Most of us don’t like to be dependent on others, but we are interdependent – that’s part of what it means to be human. Foster those good healthy connections and relationships. Reach out and ask for help when you need to, but also try to strengthen yourself to be able to be as resilient as possible if you do find that you have to go it alone in seasons or circumstances of life. And perhaps most importantly, be reminded that there are people, young, old and middle aged alike, who against all their wishes and determination, do find that they are dependent for help – perhaps their bodies or minds have ‘given up’ in some way, perhaps they no longer function as they once did, perhaps they are in a situation and state in life that they really didn’t wish for, and they simply cannot get by without the help or care of others. Maybe this is a temporary situation…maybe they have to endure this for a long time. We don’t like to feel dependent, but sometimes we are….and sometimes someone really could benefit from that offer of help, or from the unasked kindness of a hot meal made for them, a little help here or there…the risk of having the offer rejected is not so important as the potential impact of helping and encouraging someone who really does need it. Be brave…take that chance. 

4. Sleep!

It’s an obvious one, but something so many of us struggle with….getting enough sleep. Yet it is essential for maintaining our health and wellbeing. We may be busy, but we cannot afford to trade off getting things done with compromising our health. It is amazing how sleep restores – there are so many functions going on within our bodies that we are barely aware of….don’t they deserve to get the rest and sleep they need? 🙂

5. What are you taking for granted?

So now we come to the final life lesson that the common cold has for us today: Gratitude.

How funny it is that we humans often take something for granted until we no longer are able to do or have it. We may moan about our jobs, but when we are unable to attend our work we find we miss it, or at least appreciate the ability we normally have to carry out our work. When we are confined indoors, we find a new appreciation for the outside world – for blue skies overhead, the sound of birdsong, the whisper of a breeze on our skin. When we are immobile, we think upon how wonderful it is to be able to move, to function, to have health and to do simple things on our own. When we are unwell, we appreciate health. When we are alone, we appreciate company. When we are tired, we appreciate strength. 

Do you have any of these today? Do you have strength enough to do your housework? Be grateful and don’t grumble. Do you have a job to go to? Try to appreciate it, along with your ability to do it. Do you have someone to help you with the day to day things of life? Hold off from any judgements you may have of them for *how* they are helping, and show your appreciation that you have them in your life in the first place. Do you have health? Enjoy it, be thankful, use it to bring something good into the world today. Do you have money in your pocket, a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and a mind that is still functioning? Be grateful. Look after yourself, and those around you, and don’t wait until you no longer have it to appreciate what you have right now. xx

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Healing: It’s ok to take your time…

When was the last time you suffered from ‘FOMO’ (you know, that 21st Century phenomenon that is the ‘Fear Of Missing Out’)? 

While this anxiety, and by that I don’t mean envy, may be harnessed in a way that one might use pre-exam nerves to motivate them to take action or do better, can be harnessed to compel one to take positive steps in life, to make the most of things, it can also be used as a rod to beat one’s own back. 

You see, in the path to healing, whether that is physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual or all of the above, we might find ourselves in places that we really don’t want to be. The place may be physical or subjective. For example, on the pathway of healing, one might be in a hospital bed, or a mental prison. The confines can come in a variety of forms, and their impact upon us has a lot to do with how we react to our situations. 

In a world of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube, to name a few online spaces, we often see lives that seem worlds apart from our own. When we see a constant stream of happy, healthy images, of people seemingly living life to the full, surrounded by friends, family, apparent ‘success’, and ‘ticking all the boxes’ of lives great milestones – graduations, birthdays, engagements, weddings, baby showers, births, and the happy lives of those surrounded by love, life, travel, adventure, achievement, talent, good health….the list goes on…. you fill in the blank for what you struggle with seeing…. we can be left feeling deflated.  Perhaps especially if or when things aren’t quite going so smoothly for us. 

Now, I can’t promise you healing. I can’t say for certain how things will work out. But I can say that I have been imprisoned by many things, and I know The One Who Has set me free, and Who continues to heal and restore me. If you know The Lord Jesus, you know He Is Real, He Is Good, He Loves you and has a place for you. 

If you don’t yet know Him (and I pray that you will know His very specific love for you, some day) then you can still glean from His Wisdom. 

You are important. Your journey is important. If you’re like me, you have perhaps fought hard to survive certain storms in your life, pushed on, worked hard, done everything your little self could do, to find that while you have survived, you may still feel broken. And while you have endured long and fought hard to overcome repeated challenges and obstacles, somehow you find yourself surrounded by people who know little of this road, and whose terrain has been more of meadows than of jagged mountains. They seem to breeze through life, move through all the milestones smoothly, happily and at the expected time, they don’t seem to have to go through trial after trial, and although they have ups and downs like everyone in life, they don’t seem to be particularly tough and they have had plenty of ‘cushioning’ in their early lives and a good support system so that things that come their way don’t seem to phase them. Of course, we don’t know what we might find if we were to peel back the layers of these lives, but it is fair to say that some people do have a happier time of it than others.

So, what do yo do when you find yourself in a place of ‘FOMO’, of comparison, of anxiety, doubt and fear? Your future does not seem so secure, you don’t think you’ll ever experience the blessings that come so easily. Perhaps you feel defeated, disappointed, by the hospital bed, by the medication, by the nightmares, the divorce, the physical sickness, the trauma, the depression, anxiety, stress, uncertainty, loneliness….the list goes on and on. And as you think about these contrasts, the despair and worry begin to build. What will become of you? This wasn’t how it was meant to be.

First let me say, whether you realise it or not, you are *loved*, by a God Who created you, chose you, fashioned you, and Who can bring meaning from your sufferings – indeed The One True and Living God Who suffered anguish to save you – to bring forgiveness, reconciliation, and love. Eternal security, and security for this life, each and every day knowing that The Good Shepherd Is walking with you every step of the way. 

Like I said, even if you don’t know Him yet, even if you are angry at God, refuse to believe in Him, or are frustrated at why He seems to be so ‘unfair’ towards you, you are not alone in these feelings. In a broken world, our broken hearts struggle to believe that we are loved or cared for, or that our lives matter, because we each are special. 

First, I encourage you, regardless of your beliefs, if you are walking a path towards healing, to come away from those places of comparison for a while. Sometimes we want to run before we can walk. But today is important, and you matter. Focus on building up your own life and rather than wishing it was different, do something to make it so. The small things matter. Take time by yourself to rest awhile. Our bodies and minds are over run and overcharged, and we all need some ‘down time’ to recalibrate, and to get busy doing nothing. Perhaps you are limited in what you can do – perhaps you are confined indoors, but if you are not, open a window or wander outside and linger in the freshness of the air you are still blessed with to be able to breathe. Small steps are important. Can you put something healthy into your body, can you exercise even a little, just 5 minutes today, can you do something that will strengthen and nurture your soul? Can you colour, or read, or write, or journal, think, pray? Can you gaze at the clouds moving gently past, or linger over a hot cup of tea? Can you enjoy the laughter of a child? Can you pick up where you left off, and get even a little bit stronger today? Can you say something kind to yourself, and remember, whether you believe it yet or not, that you are loved?

My friend, if like me, you have come a long way, you may feel like despite all your effort you haven’t got far enough. But take time to realise how far you *have* come. It is ok to rest a while, if you can. It has taken everything to get here, and we want to run, but first we need to grow strong in our ability to walk through life…metaphorically speaking. 

It is ok to take your time. It is important not to compare, unless that comparison leads to gratitude and kinder, more compassionate hearts. You are not alone on this journey. We all live in a broken, fallen world, where a lot of things seem unfair. But we have been given a Hope. We have been given strength enough for today. Reach out….reach out to Him….Jesus…The Living God, Who Loves you….and if you can’t find it in yourself to do that yet….at least reach out and do something today that will strengthen you in your onward journey of a more whole and peaceful live. xx

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