For Children and Parents. “A Happiness Box”. — Victory Over Bullying – Help and Support for You

Sometimes when we are sad and confused it can be difficult to know what to do to feel better. It is a good idea to have something to cheer us up when we don’t feel so good. Why don’t you ask a grown up to help you create a “Happiness Box”. You could decorate a […]

via For Children and Parents. “A Happiness Box”. — Victory Over Bullying – Help and Support for You

My New Blog – ‘Victory over Bullying’ providing Help for Bullied Children and Adults…

Hi Friends,

I’ve started a new blog to provide free help, support and advice for children who are being bullied. I also hope to provide help for adults like myself overcoming the effects of childhood bullying, and advice for parents, friends and carers.

My new blog is one day old, so please be patient while I get things going. It is so important that our children and young people get the help they need, and if you know a young person who can benefit, please look at this along with them or share the link. There are so many bad influences online that I have created a safe place for children and adults to find healing, encouragement and help. It means so much if this helps even one person. Please share the encouragement. Thank you.

https://bullyinghelp.home.blog/category/help-for-children/

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“Travelling Teaches You” (11).

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Life as it happens to be

Travelling teaches youto put your problems in perspective.

For some, “getting away from it all” is exactly what we hope to be able to do. Not just in terms of getting away physically from the daily routine and responsibilities of day-to-day life, but as a means of escape from our deeper problems or issues or challenging circumstances and people.

Travelling teaches you, quite naturally, to look outside of yourself, to grow in awareness of other people, your surroundings, new cultures, ways of doing things and of life in general. One of the gifts of travel to you is that of a fresh perspective, and perhaps even renewed strength to go back and return to take on the tasks and issues of life that you needed a break from.

However, as naturally as this gift comes to us through the very experience of travel, there is a caution that we…

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“Travelling Teaches You” (10).

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Life as it happens to be

Travelling teaches you to know yourself. Sometimes we take it for granted that we know certain aspects of our character or personality well, however, it may be the case that we have allowed ourselves to be conditioned in a certain way in our day-to-day lives, or we may be drifting along with our ‘likes, dislikes, decisions or opinions’ being influenced or even imposed upon us by those around us. We may simply find ourselves going with the flow, and not really experiencing the opportunities to live in a way that authentically resonates with who we really are.

Travelling, especially when we are able to do so alone, helps us to grow in awareness of our own needs, wants, desires, as well as of our own shortcomings, failures and need to change or develop certain aspects of our character. Living a life of authenticity is so important, however, although travel is…

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“Travelling Teaches You” (9).

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Life as it happens to be

Travelling teaches you to plan ahead. Travelling also teaches you to leave your plans behind. 

There is so much to explore, and limited time, so we may find we gain the most from our experiences if we have in mind what we most want to see and do and focus on those. These lessons in planning and preparation can be useful and transferable into our ‘ordinary’ lives. We are so ‘wired up’ in the 21st Century to try to have multiple ‘tabs’ open in our lives, however, just as our computers and devices can only handle so much, so too we sometimes need a ‘re-boot’ or to close down some of the tabs we have so that we can enrich our experience of the fewer things we actually choose to do, and be more productive and efficient in making the most of our time in doing so. 

However, travelling…

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‘Lunch Bites’ – Bite-sized inspiration on your lunch break…

“Go the extra mile with your work, with a good attitude.”

Think about the people who have had the greatest positive impact and influence on your life, and think of their qualities that have touched and inspired you.

What are the most inspirational people to you actually like? Do they stand out because they are ruthlessly determined to achieve success at all costs? Are they gregarious, charismatic, ‘people pleasers’, who know how to network, ‘sweet talk’ and connect with people at the top in order to get to the top themselves? Do they put other people down to make themselves look better? Do they gain recognition by taking credit for other people’s hard work? Do they always put themselves and their own needs first? Are they always outspoken, having something to say about everyone and everything?

Hopefully, your answer to most of these questions would have been “Of course not!”. That type of ambition does not so much inspire authentic and genuine people, as it does repel them.

So, what am I getting at with today’s ‘lunch bite’? What if you were to be the kind of person that inspires other people around you? Today is a good day to think about how you can ‘go the extra mile’ in your work, not for selfish gain or ambition, but with a good attitude. Think of the person or people who have impacted your life for the better, and allow their influence, whether or not they are still in your life, to continue to encourage and inspire you to be someone who encourages and inspires others.

You don’t need to make your difference in a noticeable way. That’s not the point, and if you are thinking only of the outcome then that lacks authenticity and genuineness.

Instead, work diligently, quietly, courageously, respect others, work with a good attitude, and strive to do more than your best, and not for the reward you may get. Be helpful, kind, cheerful and positive, keeping in mind that the people working alongside you, whatever their attitude may be, are people too with their own issues, ‘hang ups’, fears, pressures and problems.

You don’t have to be a noticeable hero to be heroic in one person’s life. Remember who inspires you, and strive to inspire and encourage someone else today in a way that is real, authentic and natural to you. And remember, people change the world around them one moment at a time – and that includes you. What positive difference will you make in the world today? xx

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Trauma is not linear, but you are making progress…

Sometimes we need an encouraging reminder…

Life as it happens to be

I want to encourage those of you who have been trying so hard, but are struggling to ‘make progress’ in your recovery from trauma. Trauma is a complex issue, and although I am not a medical professional, I am a sufferer and survivor, and working on being a victor of severe complex post traumatic stress….or C-PTSD, but I personally don’t find the ‘D’ for ‘disorder’ a particularly helpful term. 

Trauma can be the result of a one off event, or it could be caused by cumulative traumas and stresses which result in ‘complex’ trauma. No matter how seemingly ‘big’ or ‘small’ the trauma seems to someone on the outside, the impact is how it affects you individually and how it triggers your threat responses of fight / flight / freeze, and the anxiety, panic, fear and heightened emotions that result. When you are overpowered, shocked or in danger this can…

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Happy First of the Month – what is your perspective?

Well, it’s the 1st of August already, friends. At this time of the year, having well and truly crossed the half-way point, someone is bound to say “I can’t believe it’s August already! Where has the time gone?” Can anyone relate? Maybe you’ve been the one to say it to others.

I often find that as the year draws on, as summer reaches its height and then begin to fade, and we face the inevitability of the approach of autumn and winter and the end of the year, that a subtle negativity can creep up on some people (or perhaps not so subtle!), and with it an underlying current of anxiety, stress and maybe a little fear.

The passing of the seasons reminds us of the passing of time, and inevitably life.  And even if we are in the bloom of youth, and have much ahead of us to look forward to, there can be a tendency having reached the mid-point of the year to lament the things we haven’t done that we wanted to do, to feel directionless or that we have wasted time or drifted along, or to have a fear of the future, the passing of time and the need to ‘wake up’ a bit in our lives especially with regards to how we spend our time.

It can be easy to overlook our accomplishments, the fact that we have got up and shown up everyday (or most days), and have made it this far. Some people are naturally positive and don’t feel this way so much. However, if you are someone who struggles with having passed the mid-year point and need some encouragement, then read on my friend.

A simple shift in perspective can really help our outlooks for the better. Instead of seeing half the year as ‘gone’, look at this as the brand new start to a new month and new opportunities, and the chance to put your all into your life this month. We all approach life differently. I was chatting with a friend the other day who doesn’t like to plan things too much, but prefers spontaneity. We were talking in particular about using our time after work. I like to be ‘free’ within the structure of a plan. It helps me not to fritter away my time, and to focus and having spent time reflecting upon what is important to me in life, and aligns to my core values, then it’s a helpful way for me to ensure I do the things that are of most value to me. Eventually, this becomes part and parcel of the fabric of my life (such as the things I do in morning or evening ‘routines’), but for the things I find harder to ‘fit in’, I find that being intentional about them, even with a loosely structured plan, helps me. But perhaps you are more like my friend, and would find that constraining. However you approach things, use the 1st day of this brand new month to reflect on all the potentials and possibilities ahead of you, and strive to live deeply and more fully without dwelling anxiously on what you haven’t yet done.

Look out to the horizon, and dream big, then set sail and let your dreams take you there. Be blessed and stay hopeful. x

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