Self Care In A Pandemic (62): Work On Your Character…

Initially all the changes we faced in 2020 when the pandemic really started to impact our lives and shape our day to day realities, left many of us in a ‘survival mode’.

We were compelled into thinking about the immediate practicalities and concerns we needed to get to grips with in order to keep our loved ones and ourselves safe.

I’m sure we all remember the news articles and ‘toilet paper-gate’ in those early days when people were struck with panic and started hoarding essentials for fear of shortages amid the lockdown.

I realise that for many people things are by no means easy now, but in general in a variety of countries we have now established ways and means of managing these new day to day realities of living life in a pandemic.

Working from home has become a default for many people, even if we are still not fully equipped and established quite yet. Home education is a ‘new norm’ for some, and it’s no longer a novelty or new inconvenience to be ordering groceries and then spending our time carefully disinfecting them. These are all part of the rhythm of our new lives, as is social distancing, delivery people leaving parcels on our door steps rather than handing them to us, and so forth.

Some people in society are really hard pressed, such as those working in the ICU, people facing abuse in other frontline settings such as shop staff, and those for whom Covid-19 has had a knock on effect upon their finances, family situation and living situations. Some have become homeless while others are going to food banks for the first time.

I suspect that for many of us with the time to read and write blogs, we may be in a more comfortable situation not living hand-to-mouth on a day to day basis and not having to worry about where we will live next month.

For those of us who are no longer in pandemic-survival-mode, and for those of us who still are, we all have the opportunity to dig deeper and work on our character.

We are being pressed into thinking about many things, some of which many of us prefer to avoid in the general day to day run of life. Death and what happens next is one that is key to think about. I personally believe that there will be a judgement, and the only way to be right with God is by seeking His forgiveness and new life through Jesus Christ. That’s the biggest eternal need of all. Yet we also have other issues that we need to consider such as how we think of and relate to others, how we use our time, and whether we are developing ourselves in a way that will bring kindness into the world around us. We may be humbled by our circumstances and this may open opportunities for us to realise more of our humanity, our need and to develop thankfulness, perseverance and resilience.

So wherever you find yourself today, think of the ways in which you can be developing your character in this pandemic. Think of the person you are and want to become, and how you can use all of your experiences for the greater good, even and perhaps especially those which have been difficult for you.

Take care, as always friends, stay safe and never give up. x

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Self Care In A Pandemic (43): If Things Went Back To ‘Normal’ Tomorrow, What Would You Miss? …

It is understandable that many people struggle with the changes that 2020 and the pandemic has brought, and longing for things to return to the way they were even as we press through this ‘new normal’ whatever that means.

However, with the human tendency to be to notice things that aren’t the way we would like them to be, it can be all too easy to miss out on the things that are actually going well and to neglect to notice and give thanks for our blessings.

One way of finding’ a more positive way through this pandemic could be to ask yourself, ‘If things went back to ‘normal’ tomorrow, what would I miss?’

It’s hard really to know what ‘normal’ means, but if things were to change then you might have to let go of some of the benefits of this season that you may be taking for granted. By thinking of it this way you might be more inclined and motivated to make the most of the time that you do have in this season.

For some of you, life might be full on and so difficult, especially if you work on the frontline in the hospitals for example. Please know that you are valued and many people are so grateful and thankful for the hard work you are doing.

For most of us, however, things that might change if there was more ‘normality’ could include the following:

– A daily commute to work, for example in an office, when we’re currently used to working from home.

-Appointments and meetings dictating the way we use our time, rather than greater flexibility that we might have at the moment.

– Having to spend time with toxic people, for example in the work place or in other realms of life.

– Losing touch with the people we may have kept in touch with more during lockdowns and restrictions with the use of technology.

-Less time with our families.

-Less time alone.

-Less time for our hobbies, or to pursue our own interests.

-A faster pace of life, and less chance to slow down and take notice of the simple joys of every day living.

-More demands from other people.

-More ‘external noise’ from the world, from society, from other people, from bosses, from commitments.

-Being forced back into the timetable and mould that the world sets for us, rather than having more freedom to do things at our own pace and in our own way.

I wonder if you can think of other things that I haven’t listed that you might like to share in the comments?

Of course, there are things that we are all missing right now in the pandemic. We miss the freedom to go out without risk of infection, we miss our friends and loved ones, we miss doing fun things, we miss human connection and interaction and travel. Oh, how so many of us miss travel! We may miss our jobs, or we may be missing having a job at all, we may miss health and some people (not myself) may even miss the hustle and bustle of crowds and shopping and noisy places filled with people.

While you may be yearning for the things you miss from the life we once knew or were more familiar with, take a moment to really think about the things that you enjoy right now that you might miss if things returned to ‘normal’ tomorrow. Will you miss your own sleep pattern and no early morning alarm clock, will you miss not having to go on a long commute to work, the time you have to do the things you enjoy, to spend by yourself or with family, or the slower pace of living?

If so, you may just be taking things for granted if you are focusing on the way things used to be or the way you wish they were. There may be so much, right now, even in the midst of the pandemic that are blessings to you. Take time to recognise them, acknowledge them, be grateful for them, and make the most of them, because as seasons change, things may just get far more busier than you would like them to be.

Take time. Enjoy now. Be thankful.

x

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Life after lockdown. *The readjustment phase*.

*The readjustment phase*.

Like a trusty friend during isolation, You Tube has given me insights into and inspiration from other people’s lives, that have helped me build upon the positives in my own life, during a time with no face to face company. From bullet journaling, to crafts and creativity, prayer and faith, exercise, cooking, morning and evening routines, to simple entertainment, I’ve had plenty to think about and be inspired by. While pondering what possible analogy I could use to try to express the psychological and emotional shift that happens during times of change and readjustment, and the mixed emotions that some of us may be beginning to feel, it was in fact some videos from You Tube that came to mind!

There’s a lovely and entertaining family that vlogs about their life, and in recent videos, the parents were working on a surprise for their young twin girls to upgrade / redo their shared bedroom. When the girls finally saw the surprise they were so happy. They were excited about the new floor space to do cartwheels that their new bunkbeds gave them and were ‘over the moon’ with all the new things that they had and were able to do in their space. Well done parents ! 🙂 . However….. after a few nights the girls started shouting for help and saying they felt scared and ended up explaining that they loved their room but they were ‘going through an adjustment’. Pretty articulate for six year olds to express and explain that emotion, I thought.

I don’t know about you, but in the past few days I’ve experienced feelings of excitement, hope, apprehension and tiredness. It’s been a long four months, with many things to be grateful for, but despite the restrictions, the ‘cabin fever’ and so on, there has been, at least for me, a growing sense of comfort and stability in the predictable nature of day to day life. There’s been a sense of security and even of growth, and I’ve certainly benefited from a slower pace of life. Now, however, it’s like we’ve been given more ‘floor space’, and while at times we may feel like doing cartwheels and handstands, we may also be faced with unsettled or sleepless nights.

I think it’s worth recognising that there will be a degree of psychological and emotional shift for all of us. We’ve braved our first (and hopefully last) pandemic (but it’s not over yet!), we’ve made it through to the other side of our first ‘lockdown’, and restrictions have been significantly lifted in recent days. Yet what we’re moving into isn’t quite the same as what we had before. We have new freedoms, but they’ve changed. The excitement of meeting with friends may be slightly dampened by not being able to embrace them just yet. We might feel a sudden thirst for adventure again with the renewed prospect of being able to do more things, go places, see things for the first time or after a long time, having had the same surroundings day after day for one third of a year. But things have changed. We’re not out of the woods quite yet, there is that underlying risk of a ‘second wave’, and we still need to be aware of all the public health measures that we need to stick with, and maybe some of us are not quite ready to take the next step.

I think the mental realisation that this is a time of adjustment, of processing and reprocessing change is a shared reality in differing ways and to different degrees depending on our experience and circumstances.

I find it helpful though to be able to tell myself that the mixed emotions and figuring out of thoughts is a normal part of adjustment and readjustment to change, and the ‘new normal’ that we are still not yet all that familiar with.

It’s ok to feel unsettled at this stage. It’s ok to feel excited one moment and apprehensive the next. It’s ‘normal’ (or ‘new normal’, or something!).

One of the ways I began to process my experience of lockdown to enable me to have a productive time rather than days drifting into days into days, was to create for myself a ‘vision board’ (online) for my time in quarantine. While grappling with change and uncertainty, my first point of reference will always be the Unchanging Truth that I build my life and faith upon, however, for the day to day practicalities and making sense of what to do, I find I need to ‘reorient’ my brain, my mind, to figuring out how to look forwards and take the next productive steps as I walk through and navigate the changes ahead.

So, I guess for me it’s time to draw up a ‘post-quarantine vision board’ to help make sense of the next few weeks at least, and the adjustment phase we all find ourselves in. It works for me to a certain extent, or at least it did before.

Maybe you can inspire me, if you feel like it with how you are adapting to, managing and making sense of these changing days. 

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Life After Lockdown – *Things Haven’t Changed for Everyone*.

*Things haven’t changed for everyone*

Looking for the rainbows through the coronavirus storms, I was encouraged by how many people initially reached out to others who were in need at the start of lockdown. Many of you have been faithfully doing what you can to use your abilities to help and serve other people.

It can be easy to lose sight of that as things change. Many of us have had time to reflect upon the ways in which we don’t want things to go ‘back to normal’. While we are compelled to walk into a ‘new normal’ we also have the opportunity to forge out a better way of living life as a society.

The risk is that as we go back into society, we lose sight of the lessons we have collectively learned about humility, giving, self sacrifice (especially those front line workers who gave up time with their family, even gave their own lives to help others), kindness, compassion and taking time to think and advocate for others.

I’m hoping that we will see a shift in heart attitudes and behaviour. I’m wondering whether we might see some of those positive changes reflected in how we shop and our behaviour collectively at Christmas this year for example. I hope we’ve collectively had a ‘change of heart’, but then we do still contend with the tendencies to hoard (toilet paper?!) and look out mainly for ourselves.

As restrictions ease and many of us will enjoy greater freedoms, it’s good to bear in mind that there are still people for whom things haven’t changed much. People who have been shielding for instance and who don’t feel confident enough to risk their own health by going out, people who may have had more contact online but don’t have connections in real life and who may become forgotten about once people start ‘getting back to normal’. We’ve learned lessons about prejudice, about vulnerability, about mental health, homelessness and hardships in our society, and had more time than our previous busy lives would have allowed to take it all in. Many of us have cared deeply and tried to do something to help.

Now, however, it can become all too easy to forget. To become self-focused as we get excited perhaps about the things we can do once more. Not everyone will be in that position. While we can’t save the world, we can bring kindness to it. We can be intentional in thinking about those in our friendship groups who won’t have families to connect with, or may have to continue to stay indoors for various reasons. Some may be grieving the loss of loved ones from the coronavirus. We can take time to remember the causes for social justice that we were touched by and patiently, humbly continue to do what is right.

So, to sum it all up, let’s allow the deeper lessons we have learned to stay with us, to take the opportunity to make the ‘new normal’ into a ‘better normal’, and to keep remembering to think of others for whom life will still be hard, and to be kind to ourselves and each other in the process. 

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Life After Lockdown – Think and Plan Ahead.

*Think and plan ahead*.

At this moment in time I am writing while feeling pretty ‘woozy’ 🥴 . I’ve got that feeling of being on a boat that is being rocked side to side by the waves, and while it is getting difficult to concentrate or to keep my equilibrium I have experienced this, and even stronger sensations, so many times that logically I can tell myself that this discomfort will pass, and the waves will be stilled. Peace will return again. In the meantime, I can choose to persevere through it, or let it overwhelm me. Making the right choice takes practice when something is a frequent feature of our lives.

There is a certain amount of discomfort that we will have to learn to adjust to and persevere through in our ‘new normal’ post-lockdown. It will take time, thought, planning and practice to make certain adjustments.

If the ‘world out there’ and the ‘new normal’ all seem a bit overwhelming for some of you, then try to break things down into smaller, more manageable pieces.

Remember that you can only live one day at a time, moment by moment, therefore it won’t benefit you to worry about tomorrow, or the next day, or a year from now. Plan and prepare, but get into the practice of choosing not to worry.

In ‘normal’ (pre-lockdown) life I struggle with sensory overload. I could be standing in a supermarket and the sound of more than one conversation, or music playing, or people walking past can throw my wee brain out of kilter! It’s the same with most situations for me, so I’ve had to learn to cope and adapt and it is an ongoing challenge. Maybe you don’t have to experience things like that in your day to day life, but perhaps the adjustments of a world post-lockdown feel unsettling to you and make you feel a bit muddled yourself (you’d be in good company 😉 ). If so, try thinking ahead, planning for the different situations you might encounter, take some time to read and think about what some of the new legal requirements are (such as being aware that non-compliance regarding the use of face masks in certain situations will result in a hefty fine in some places) so that you won’t be caught off guard. Keep the essentials handy (face masks, hand sanitizers, etc) until the ‘new normal’ becomes part of your normal.

And if anxiety about life post-lockdown feels like something you don’t have to worry about, then that is great, but recognise that there may be people all around you who will struggle or feel overwhelmed, so try to help and encourage them.

Having a bit of a mental ‘road map’ will help you prepare for the situations you might face and help you adjust to what might at the moment be making you feel uncomfortable, uncertain (or ‘woozy’! 😉 ).

And remember, when all is said and done, we can each only live one day at a time, so don’t take on the mental and emotional burdens of unknown tomorrows, even as you plan ahead. 

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Lockdown Life Lessons (1). (Interactive Series)

Slowly but surely, we are beginning to emerge from what in some places around the world has been a complete lockdown due to the coronavirus.

Hopefully we are seeing some ‘green shoots’ of recovery, although the recovery process may well be far from linear, and a global journey of learning that needs to be taken carefully, wisely and cautiously for the sake of public health and wellbeing.

However, as certain restrictions are being relaxed in various places, and we begin to embark upon this ‘new normal’ that everyone keeps talking about (while none of us know exactly what this means or what it will look like), many people are beginning to reflect upon what they have learned during lockdown.

Perhaps this is something you have been thinking about too. The coronavirus, changes in society, and in our personal lives have all served to highlight that when striving towards what is good, we are better together.

That is why, as I embark upon considering some of the lessons I have learned, I’d like to bring you on the journey with me with prompts to help you reflect upon your own experiences and learning curves. Maybe you could grab a notebook or journal or even keep a note on your electronic device so that you can look back over these lessons as you move forwards, and get the most out of this reflective exercise.

To begin with, my first prompt is to pose the question:

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1. What has been the most unchanging, steadfast and dependable aspect of your life that you have been able to cling to throughout these changing times? Conversely, if you don’t have an answer to that, then what had you been depending on before that turned out not to be so reliable, and what have you learned from that realisation?

My answer to this question is the Reality of God in my life has been the most unchanging, steadfast and dependable thing. I’ve had lots of ups and downs in my life before this, and found both then and now that when I couldn’t see a way forward, or when I didn’t have the strength to make it through, Jesus Christ Has never left me nor forsaken me and Is Faithful and Good and Loving and Powerful in any and all circumstances.

Now it’s your turn – take a few moments to reflect upon this question for yourself, and consider what you have learned and what you might need to change in your life going forwards. Write it down in your notebook, or in a document, or maybe do something creative so that you have a ‘look-back-book’ (I think I just coined a new phrase, lol) for what you have learned during this unique time in world history. Also, I’d be delighted if you wanted to share you answer or answers in the comments below so that I and others can learn from you too.

Feel free to follow my blog so that you can see when I post the next prompts in this interactive series. 🙂

Peace. x

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Small Steps Forwards…

We’ve all been living through a time of change and of readjustments. For some, such changes have been drastic and even life changing, for others the changes have been adapting to new routines and day to day restrictions.

And here we all are, once again, facing change as societies across the world venture into adapting to a ‘new normal’ and gradually or perhaps in some places more dramatically, moving forwards.

So, how do you feel about all of these major and minor adjustments in your own life? Has lockdown helped you to learn more about yourself and how you cope with and adapt to changes? Does the prospect of a ‘new normal’ feel daunting to you? Have you spent your time in a kind of hiatus and now are looking to re-engage with your life in more meaningful ways, yet don’t quite know how to go about it?

Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Many people have varying degrees of anxiety specifically about moving forwards with all of the societal changes we’ve been facing particularly around the coronavirus.

You might be facing challenges around your employment, you might have to physically leave your home and commute to get to your work and all these things can be quite daunting.

But those things aside, what about finding ways to keep moving forwards in your personal growth? Perhaps you have had more time to focus on such matters during lockdown, or perhaps things have been too busy that you have had to let such things take a back seat.

As you look to moving forwards, think of those small and simple steps that you can take to get back into things.

Maybe, like me, you had more pressing priorities during lockdown and you haven’t been able to blog for a while. Try taking the small step forwards of dipping your toe back into the water and writing a short post. And then keep going as and when you can.

Maybe you need to look after your body better after spending a long spell of time indoors. Start today with something manageable, a bit of exercise, even if 5 minutes is all you can manage, and build it up from there.

Do you feel like you’ve been disconnected from people and don’t know how to re-engage with society? Think about reaching out to a trusted friend, take that first step, ask how someone else is doing, and allow things to take shape in their own way and time, even if that means facing silence or rejection. At least you will have tried, and you can take some confidence from that to keep trying to take new steps.

Does going outside seem daunting? Start small. Plan a short walk, be prepared with all your health and safety measures and gradually ease yourself back into the outside world.

Do you feel like you’ve been overly preoccupied or worried with certain aspects of your life? Try to do something that will help your mind move in a more positive direction. Perhaps you could read a book, do a crossword, have a conversation with someone positive, do something you enjoy.

Do you find the thought of doing certain things daunting? Can you reach out to a friend and share those thoughts with them? Maybe they feel the same, and maybe you can mutually help each other face those changes together.

Wherever you are at, there is no doubt that things always feel more overwhelming when we try to tackle them all in one go. Instead of seeing the mountain before you as a challenge to conquer, see the mountain and just take that one next step. We each can only live one moment at a time, yet all of these little moments add up and shape our choices and the direction of our lives.

Has it been a while since you have prayed? Start now. Have you forgotten gratitude? Write down three things you are grateful for today. Have you found it difficult to blog and are struggling to know how to come back to things? Write a paragraph, post a picture, share the little that is in your hand today, knowing and believing that someone else may benefit from it. Life is full, but we have to participate. We have to reach up in faith to find what we are meant to do and be on this earth while we have the chance. I look up to Jesus everyday, for all the Fulness of Life, Love, Goodness and Truth Is found in Him. And He Who holds all things together, also cares about the tiniest of details. So start small, start in faith and see where those small beginnings might lead you. Perhaps on the adventure of your lifetime! x

Surviving the Pandemic Together. Words of Encouragement (15): *Is this really happening? How on earth has this become our new “normal”?*

*Is this really happening? How on earth has this become our new “normal”?*

Once we have got over the initial panic and fear and taken action to establish some kind of safety for our loved ones and our friends, and once we are safely tucked away in our homes (most of us reading this at least, I presume), we will be faced with a range of thoughts and emotions.

As I have explored in this series of posts, we will be juggling with the practicalities of daily life, and also the bigger life questions perhaps running in the background of our thoughts. We need to consider a new routine, a new way of living, a new way of being as a society, that seems to be becoming increasingly restricted day by day, for our own good it seems.

But at some point, once we do begin to feel a bit safe and settled, we are healthy, at home, have food, are able to help and support others in some way, the ‘craziness’ of this situation may hit us.

It’s important to be kind to ourselves and each other as we process things, bit by bit, and to prioritise self-care. This is *not* normal, this is nothing like any of us could have anticipated, and no one can tell you what the right or wrong way to process this is, because none of us know.

As with many of my words of encouragement, I will once again reiterate the importance of community. The reality of faith and God in my life is what is getting me through, but not all of you have that. We need each other. These are strange and crazy times, and we need to figuratively put our ‘I’ pads away, and become the generation of ‘we’ and not just ‘me’. I’m thankful for technology that is helping us to do that.
What is helping you to process things?

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