LIFE AFTER LOCKDOWN – *Avoid the comparison trap*.

*Avoid the comparison trap*.

Remember ‘JOMO’? The phrase (the ‘Joy Of Missing Out’) coined to counter FOMO (‘Fear Of Missing Out’)?

Well, you might need to keep it handy so that you can bring it to mind in the days and weeks to come. While lockdown was somewhat of a leveller in that we all were made to stay indoors, it also brought to the fore some disparities between people’s experiences with a varying spectrum of health, wealth, work, care, family, social, ideological, and other issues. It’s been nice to see people finding a level of common ground despite varying experiences, and for communities to try to bridge the gaps to some extent. However, the differences in our experiences of life in lockdown may also have brought about divergences in friendships and relationships when for example people no longer have the same common ground that they once did socially to connect with each other. It’s worth reminding ourselves that everyone has been trying to make it through as best as they can through their own unique experiences, and remembering this will help us to manage our expectations and avoid disappointment. Lockdown may have strengthened and deepened some of our relationships and friendships, while others might have come under strain, broken down, stagnated or drifted away.

And here we all are gradually leaving that part of our experience behind. This is where the phrase ‘JOMO’ might come in handy, at least as a temporary measure to help you, and for you to help others, to navigate this transition. Why? Because people will be emerging from the past four months of lockdown with potentially very different stories to tell. Some may have flourished, others may have held on, and there are those who have broken down. You might have enjoyed more time with your family or more time to yourself, or you may be struggling financially, grieving, feeling neglected or lonely, facing job loss or uncertainty with the end of furlough, or be wrestling with mental health issues and broken relationships or exhaustion, or whatever your experience may be. You might have been able to use all of your mixed experiences as opportunities to grow or you may not have overcome the challenges quite yet. At times like this other people’s stories, media, social media, news, magazines and the internet in general, can potentially become a stumbling block or a difficult place to navigate, so just remember that you’re never seeing the full story of other people’s lives.

I personally find a wonderful perspective in this: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn”.

Try to remember that, as well as bringing to mind the joy of missing out, and deepen any other life lessons you’ve had the opportunity to learn in lockdown when you begin to see and hear of people’s experiences of life after lockdown.

If you’re doing great, well or getting through, then I rejoice with you, and am glad for you. If you are struggling and can barely make it through the day, try to prepare yourself to avoid the comparison trap when you begin to see, hear or read of some of the joyful post-lockdown stories in the days and weeks to come. It’s good that people are doing well, and even if you’re in tough spot you can choose to dig deep and learn and grow through it until your brighter days come along.

Don’t forget those simple day-to-day things that you found life in when you were focused on life at home. Try to avoid the temptation to compare, and if you are emerging from this and are doing well, then reach out to others who might not be. ‘JOMO’ – it sounds ridiculous, but it may just have some very useful lessons for us, as sometimes humility with gratitude is the road to ‘happiness’. 😀 

Photo by Nandhu Kumar on Pexels.com

Surviving the Pandemic Together. Words of Encouragement (16): *Enjoying the little things*.

*Enjoying the little things*.

I feel like my last few posts have been a bit ‘heavy’. It’s the reality, but we also need to be able to focus on the good things, the little bursts of sunshine, and the brighter rays of light in our days.
I’ll keep this short in the hope that we can continue to build community spirit and resilience, and that some of you will post about the ‘little things’ that have been good in your days. Thank you.

Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

Winter Survival Guide (21) ~Keep it simple.

Every now and then we need some ‘down time’ – time out just to ‘be’ and not to do very much, time to enjoy the simple things of life.

Maybe you just need to spend some time ‘pottering about’ at home, with no tasks, commitments or anything in particular to do. Perhaps you have an entire day to yourself and you want to take it a bit easier for a while, and stay indoors and be cosy, maybe you could take a nap, read a book, go for a long hot bath, put together a nice winter outfit, go for a walk in nature, catch up with a friend over coffee, or just wander about with no plans in particular.

Sometimes we need to enjoy doing nothing because the rest of the time we are so busy doing everything else. I love lazy Saturday mornings like that, when I have a bit of ‘me time’ and when I don’t have any appointments, I can just take time and enjoy the simple things, linger over a hot cup of tea, watch birds flying outside my window, do a bit of tidying up at my leisure, listen to some music, read a bit, put on cosy socks and curl up on the couch and watch some TV, phone my family for a chat and a catch up.

Sometimes the simple things are the best things in life. Maybe you have someone special to spend your time doing these things with, or maybe like me, you’re on your own, either way there are so many day to day things and charms that we can find in ‘doing nothing’.

I think the Italians have a phrase for the blessedness of doing nothing: ‘La dolce far niente’.

Photo by Sasha Prasastika on Pexels.com

At Home…A Change is as Good as a Rest…

There are some phrases or proverbs that creep into common usage, that on the surface seem fairly self-explanatory, but given a bit of thought require a little more reflection to fully understand.

To me, “A change is as good as a rest” is one such phrase. A cursory review would suggest that a change that brings about positive effects or consequences is as beneficial to one’s wellbeing, as some good old refreshing ‘time out’. Some variations of the phrase state that “A change is as good as a holiday”, suggesting that the ‘change’ in question is not as significant as leaving one’s usual surroundings but that the change can be simpler, and yet have similar benefits to ‘getting away from it all’. Conversely, some interpret the change itself in the original phrase to be just such an escape or adventure away from the everyday routines and norms of one’s life.

But what does this mean in terms of life at home? *Your life* at home. As you can guess, this post is the latest instalment in my ‘Home & Lifestyle’ series, where I am exploring decluttering and reorganising in particular, and charting my progress along the way, in the hopes to both keep myself motivated,  but also to hopefully encourage and inspire some of you if you are undertaking similar projects. 

So if you would like to recap on the journey so far, please dip into my previous posts, or click on the ‘Home & Lifestyle’ tab in my main menu to catch up on what you may have missed. 

Let me start with reminding you of my ‘before and after’ pictures of my bedroom. Well, it’s more accurate to say ‘during and after’ pics, as the first picture reveals the results of me having pulled everything out in order to sort through it all and declutter and reorganise. 

https://livingfully2017.wordpress.com/2018/02/03/welcome-to-februarys-theme-home-lifestyle-from-clutter-to-calm-lets-climb-this-mountain-together/

Now that you’ve reminded yourself of those pics, or have taken a look at that post, here are another few pictures for you to peruse while keeping in mind our initial discussion on change and rest: 

Sometimes we get so overwhelmed if we have let our living conditions get a little ‘out of control’, such that we easily give up on the projects we once started in the hope of making a change in our lives. I know that at points I have felt overwhelmed, and have sometimes lapsed into simply managing and moving about the clutter and disarray rather than once and for all getting to the bottom of it. But this time, I mean business. And I am putting in the hard graft to really get to the bottom of it, even if it takes a bit of time. 

What I mean by this is going through everything – yes, *everything* I have, from the biggest piece of furniture to the bits of paper and paperclips randomly discarded in what has become the ‘junk room’ of my home, and sort through everything I have and either dispose of the item or store it responsibly. 

In order to succeed in creating a system, it is important to first take stock of what you have, get rid of what you don’t need (recycle, donate, and / or bin), categorise what you are keeping, and make one specific place for each ‘type’ of item. 

These small yet cumulative changes are as good as, but more likely far better than a rest, or a getting away from your life. Why? Because creating order, a calm environment and knowing where each item or at least each ‘type’ of item in your home is all adds up in the long run to ultimately add to your peace of mind, health, wellbeing and sense of calm. 

I began implementing such changes little at a time a while ago. Simple things. Like having one specific place to hang my keys meant that this has reduced the anxiety and panic of not being able to find them in the morning before I’m leaving for work, or whenever I need to go out anywhere. Having an orderly environment gives me more time to rest, and focus on the things I enjoy rather than all the things I need to get done, have lost track of, or am getting overwhelmed by. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed, by your current surroundings, or by this post, then know that these little changes all add up. I am still very much in the midst of the process of decluttering and reorganising my home, and although there is a long way to go, I am more than half way there, and feeling the benefits already. I am more relaxed and I enjoy being here. I don’t get so stressed about finding things because I know where things are. And I seldom lose my keys anymore when such a little thing could be such a great source of stress previously. 

So when you make these changes for yourself at home, know that these changes *are* as good as a rest – as they add up you will have more time to rest….at home, and enjoy the wellbeing of being somewhere that you have made gradual changes to, to be somewhere that you love to be. 

xx

*Pause for Thought*: What are the changes you are making in order to make your everyday life a little more restful? Would love to hear from you, so please feel free to share in the comments below! 🙂