Jigsaw Puzzle Pieces

Someone recently told me that looking after our mental wellbeing is a bit like piecing together a jigsaw. No one thing, or ‘piece’ can solve the puzzle, but overtime, having a range of different pieces can all help add up to our overall wellbeing, and I guess in some cases prevent crisis.

I know that mental health can be such a difficult thing, having gone through complex PTSD, depression, and ongoing anxiety. So, know that I’m not trying to simplify the complex nature of being a human and the difficulties you might be facing in life.

However, what could some of these jigsaw puzzle pieces be? For me, at the moment, I’m recovering from some health issues that mean I’ve only been able recently to go out for short walks again – this was something I’d do regularly to help my mental health. I’ve spent much of the time being isolated, and this has been hard because our subconscious mind chatters away and is not always very helpful, especially as with anxiety the amygdala likes to throw up negatives, be they ‘memories’, feelings, impressions, images, words, all sorts of stuff. It’s not fun, as some of you might now. Let me reassure you, you’re not alone.

So, my jigsaw puzzle pieces might consist of connecting to people on the phone or by email, getting that bit of fresh air when I can (oh, how blessed I am to walk again), eating well, getting rest, watching something positive, being kind to myself, playing my violin when I have the strength, writing an encouraging blog post, maintaining my work and not overdoing tasks that might make me tired.

At the moment, that feels a bit limited – I’m not able to do all the things I used to and the lack of social connection affects me. However, for the past few years since the pandemic started, I’ve held to a verse in Scripture, in the Psalms – ‘This is the day that The LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’. As humans, we find it very easy to live inside our heads, worrying about the future, ruminating about the past or getting confused by our subconscious minds. No matter what trauma we might have gone through, or are going through, there is still something in this day, in this moment that we can focus on and give thanks for, and that can help our brains focus on the good, which in turn helps with our mental health. We can realise that we still have breath, the gift of life. That we have bodies and minds, whatever they might be going through, they still ‘work’ to a degree. Today, I am grateful that I had a safe and warm place to sleep, food to eat, clothes to wear, the health to get up and do things for myself, the ability to walk again and go for a walk by the riverside even though it was a bit windy and rainy, the chance to watch my church online even though I can’t be in community with people at the moment, the chance to choose my thinking and retrain my mind, and work on focusing on the positives, clothes to wear, and being able to feel and look nice after having been unwell, people to reach out to to encourage, the Living Word to read. Knowing that in Jesus I am saved and secure and never alone.

I am aware that mental health is precarious, and that mine can be too. But this is just one little jigsaw puzzle piece that I share with you today, whatever your brain and mind might be doing or ‘telling’ you. Lift up your eyes, focus on something you can be thankful for, know that one puzzle piece won’t solve the whole puzzle but it can help alleviate your distress a little today. Today the sermon online was about the Peace that Jesus Christ gives to us, one that the world cannot give, and I am thankful that He has rescued me and lifted me from pain and darkness and self, and forgiven me and given me a future and hope in Him. Yes, I still struggle, but I can say that He Is my Peace, and He will hold me fast.

Perhaps that is our greatest need – to be known and loved and taken care of…eternally. I hope you find that you can have some comfort today, whatever puzzle pieces you are working with, and I hope you know that you are not alone. Many people are silently going through similar to what you are and ‘putting on a brave face’….but perhaps you need to reach out and tell someone, and that is a brave step in itself. I hope my ramblings might bring some comfort and help to someone out there. Peace. x

Mental help

At times we can feel like we’re the only person feeling the way we are or we may be frustrated that we are feeling and thinking in ways that we know aren’t helping us, but we don’t know the way out, and that can make it feel all the more frustrating.

In this moment, I’m thankful that I have the gift and outlet of the blog to reach out to someone feeling the way I am just now. It can be hard to be human, no doubt. It can be difficult and confusing to have brains that don’t always serve us well and thoughts and feelings that can be confusing.

You are not your thoughts:

Something that has helped me to hear is that ‘you are not your thoughts’, and that the ‘stuff in your head’ is just ‘stuff in your head’. It can be difficult to separate ourselves out from what’s going on seemingly inside us, but regardless of what your mind is telling you, you are unique, valuable, treasured and worthy. You are the only one of you – one of one, not one in a million, and you are not your thoughts. I believe that each one of us are worth dying for, worth the blood of the Son of God, Jesus Christ, that’s how precious and valuable our lives are, but even if you don’t believe that in this moment, know that you are unique and valuable.

Brain overload:

Our brains have had to process so much in our lifetimes and in the past few years globally. The amygdala and its fight / flight response can trick us into feeling that we are constantly under threat and we can lose perspective of who we are, our worth and what is actually real about our lives. Maybe we use ‘coping mechanisms’ to help us through. If you’re going through this, even when you’re trying to rest, know that you are not what’s happening in your brain and you’re not alone – you’re certainly not the only person experiencing mental, emotional or physical distress and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you – you’re human, and these experiences are part of the human condition.

Finding an outlet:

It can be easy to listen to and follow up on the thoughts that come into our minds, even if they are not helpful to us or are confusing. We can feel bad about ourselves for doing so and that can make it worse. But we don’t need to follow every thought that pops into our minds, they’re not real, and we don’t need to go down every rabbit hole.

Finding an outlet can be helpful to distract us, and I know that can be difficult at times especially if coupled with low mood. But we can start small, telling ourselves that ‘this too will pass’, affirming that we are not our thoughts, that thoughts aren’t real, and that we are valuable no matter what anyone else has said or what our own minds tell us. We are unique, valuable and one of a kind, anything contrary to that is a lie.

Eating well can fuel our bodies and our minds, as can finding positive and true things to think upon such as watching or contemplating something in nature and being careful of the media we take in or the thoughts we dwell on. Reading something helpful or studying can activate certain areas in our brain that are more ‘rational’, and reaching out to talk to someone can also help as can doing something creative even if for a little while.

You are not alone:

It can be a hard battle to fight to try to untangle ourselves from the many messages we’ve taken in or the chemical reactions going on in our brains involuntarily, but you are definitely not alone friend, so please don’t give up. Even if you find a little relief from your distress for a moment it will help you to think a bit more clearly and perhaps you can find a regular healthy outlet that can help you to build up more positive thought patterns, resilience and connections in your mind.

One thought at a time.

I also take comfort in my faith in knowing that on another level I’m not alone and never will be alone. Jesus said, ‘Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest for your souls…’ He knows us on every level and will never cast aside anyone who comes to Him.

And you’re not alone in your human experience as there are millions of other people going through mental health issues throughout the world. Take heart and don’t give up. Do something kind for your mind today. ❤ x

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Know your online ‘triggers’…

One of the things I realise that I love about Word Press, and this ‘blog life’ is that I very rarely feel any kind of fear or anxiety when logging in. And because a lot of online fear and anxiety is caused by unkind words of other people, I’d like to commend each and every one of you for your positive influence on the internet. I have never encountered another blogger who has tried to cut someone else down or cause harm or offence. We all have this open platform to share, and I can with real gratitude say that I am part of a community of bloggers who are encouraging, inspiring, motivated, helpful, understanding and positive. Whether or not you or I feel good, we seek to use our blogs as platforms for something good, wholesome, creative, informative and expressive. What a blessing and privilege to be part of this! 🙂

However, more and more on other platforms (which I don’t use), people experience all kinds of negativity, and as such it is important to be aware of and know your online triggers and to safeguard yourselves from these, as well as gaining understanding so that we can safeguard the younger generations coming after us.

Children born in this generation are born into an online world. Of course, not everyone in every part of the world has access to the internet, yet for the most part children in relatively affluent countries do, and they have never known anything different. They perhaps lack the perspective of young people and adults who have either grown up with lesser exposure to the online world, or experienced the internet as a ‘new’ invention, or for those older still have been part of a time before the internet (yes, hard to believe, lol! 🙂 ). I’m part of the generation growing up with less exposure to the internet (I remember dial-up modems 😉 ), and I am grateful that in my young childhood I either had my head in books, in imagining adventures, or I was outside playing and making things with my friends. I have perspective.

I was bullied and I also know how harmful and long-lasting the scars and pain and damage from other people’s cruelty can be, well into adult life. However, I was never exposed to anything like young people (and adults) experience nowadays online.

Lately, news stories and discussions have been affecting me, ‘triggering’ me as it were, so I have decided to be more mindful of my boundaries and what I choose to be exposed to. I have also been learning more about what the younger generation faces when it comes to ‘trolling’. Unlike when I was bullied, an incident may have replayed again and again in my mind or among a small number of people, now the situation is that bullying and ‘trolling’ can be replayed again and again for example in online videos, memes, photos etc. which can be viewed by millions of people. How hard must that be when someone’s open shame of being cruelly treated is ‘permanently’ on show for a whole online world to see!

This is heart-breaking, and without writing anything specific that could be triggering to any of my readers, can lead to great tragedy. This is why it is so important for us as adults to become more well informed, to know how to set boundaries for ourselves, and to teach our children and young people in our lives how to handle life in an online world so that their experiences will be uplifting and positive and so that they can discern the truth from lies. I as an adult am still unpicking my way through the bullying of my childhood, but I knew the people who were being cruel to me, and by God’s love, grace and forgiveness, I have forgiven them, whether or not they ever realised how much damage they caused. However, today people, thousands of people can anonymously use their words like knives as they sit behind a computer screen and attack other people through their keyboards (thinking that it is somehow their ‘right’ or that because they are not face to face it somehow won’t cause as much harm – I honestly don’t know or understand the mentality of such cruelty at all) – complete strangers, and this can be devastating.

I used to think as a child, everyone is saying these mean things about me so they must be true, and it really messed me up psychologically, but as an adult I am reasoning out these lies and realising that I’m not the only one. The world is full of cruel people and no one deserves to be treated that way. We all need so much grace and forgiveness. For children nowadays, the ‘everyone’ may really seem like every one in the world is against them because of the sheer multitude of people who can comment or hurt a person with their words online. We all know this needs to stop, but what about navigating our course and helping others do likewise?

If I can summarise what I’d like you to takeaway from this post it is to know this: you, yes you, are truly valuable, unique, loved, one of a kind, and so very important. Keep being kind and encouraging others to do so. Thank you for being part of this online community that is supportive and encouraging. Know your ‘triggers’, whether this is in the articles you read, watch or listen to on the news, or whether it is more personal things that you are exposed to if you have other online accounts where people are unkind. Find ways to manage your exposure, and grow strong in your mind to know that the unkind words have no place in your life and do not reflect your true identity. And as you grow stronger and wiser seek to be a voice and an advocate and a mentor for the younger generation who are exposed to so much ‘flippant’ and careless negativity and cruelty online. You really are special and you truly make a difference, so keep holding high the banner of Kindness, and you will be blessed in return. With love and peace to you all. xoxox

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If you are facing a difficult festive and holiday season ahead… — Life as it happens to be

“It’s beginning to look (a bit) like Christmas”: It may only be the beginning of November, but soon we will be made more aware of the festive and holiday season approaching. If you live in America there is ‘Thanksgiving’ in November, and among other Western countries you may be approaching Christmas, New Year and / […]

via If you are facing a difficult festive and holiday season ahead… — Life as it happens to be

A Mental Health Winter Survival Guide – Quick Tips for those tough days (2).

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Make an appointment with your doctor, and please don’t be afraid to be honest about what you’re going through ~ they’re there to help.

 

One sentence inspiration.

Sometimes, it’s ok not to be ok.

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