Winter Survival Guide (16) ~ Community Connections.

This time of year can be quite lonely for some people, and I touched upon this in an earlier Winter Survival Guide post about not facing loneliness alone.

One might be faced with the conundrum of whether to retreat from the social aspects of this season for fear that it will make you feel more out of place and alone, or whether to step out of your comfort zone to embrace potential new opportunities.

Others might be looking forward to all of the chances to connect with friends old and new.

I’ve been on both sides now. I know what it is like to feel alone, lonely and with few friends, or to be struggling with anxiety and while wanting to be and feel part of something, at the same time wanting to retreat from the overwhelming social pressures that can get too much for a friendly yet sometimes introverted soul. I also have more recently enjoyed the blessings of genuine friendships including a wide range of friends from work colleagues, people I’ve met through other friends, and people I’ve met through Church.

Wherever you find yourself on the social spectrum at this point in time, I’d like to encourage you that this time of year may be a good one for you to take a step forward and to make some positive connections.

At the weekend I attended my local church for a Remembrance Sunday service and although this is the place I usually go to worship, I know that it is very welcoming to anyone and everyone to come in. Even if you’re not a church goer, or don’t have any particular faith, you may feel comfort and connection in going along to an event or service depending on what you are comfortable with and hopefully meeting genuine, gentle, kind, caring and loving people. At this time of year there is sure to be much you can get involved in.

For example, my church has been involved with a Christmas ‘shoebox appeal’, (Samaritan’s Purse appeal) where individuals fill up decorative shoeboxes with toys, stationery and such like for children across the world who otherwise wouldn’t get gifts at Christmas, along with the cost of postage. The church is a collection point for people to drop off their boxes, and then they will coordinate with the charity to fly these shoeboxes to different countries across the world to bring love, joy and gifts to children who might not receive anything. We pray for the children and although it is a Christian appeal, it is open to anyone and everyone to get involved and contribute. My friend at work (who is an atheist) lovingly filled up a box and I took her contribution to church. Other people got together at the church on a Saturday to decorate some of the shoeboxes and to help pack them up. Maybe  something like this, no matter what your beliefs are or are not,  is a chance for you to get involved with your local community, meet caring people and even if just for an afternoon, build up a sense of connection.

My church is also hosting things like a quiz night, crafts afternoons, and a community choir, in addition to the various services which visitors may feel more comfortable attending around Remembrance Sunday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year.

If you prefer something that isn’t faith based there are also many other things you can get involved in such as helping out at a homeless shelter (although in my city many have a Christian foundation), soup kitchen, joining a team to take hot food to homeless people, or you could attend live music, craft workshops and a host of other events that will bound to be proliferating around this time of the year.

It may help you to feel more connected, even if just for a little while, if you are facing a lonely season, and even if you are not, it may be a wonderful opportunity to make new connections and participate in some new and exciting experiences.

We all need each other, and this time of year can often make it easier to reach out so why not take that step?

If you are already well connected, and perhaps involved in for example a Church, community centre or charity, why not reach out to those who may need some support, invite people in, and show some kindness and community spirit. Create activities that are accessible for all and that will help people feel more involved and connected no matter where they are coming from.

It’s always the season to be kind 🙂

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Winter Survival Guide (15) ~Revisit Your Hobbies and Make Better Use of Your Time.

We all say it from time to time: “If only I had more time, then I could do more of the things I really enjoy.”

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If we’re honest with ourselves and each other, we probably all have a lot more time than we make proper use of, and especially so during the winter and holiday seasons when we have a ready excuse to stay indoors and relax.

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How many of us who go out to work during the day, come back in the evenings and have something to eat and then spend the rest of the time slumped in front of the TV, or some other electronic device? One click leads to another, and before you know it you’ve whiled away the hours and it’s time for bed again, and that’s another day in which you wished you had ‘more time’.

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Now, what if the solution wasn’t having ‘more time’, but making better use of the time that we do have?

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I have this little game I play that helps me to get things done and avoid feeling overwhelmed. I have these ‘daily challenges’ on my computer in the form of various card games, word games and mind puzzles of different degrees of difficulty. If I’m feeling overwhelmed by the things I need to do around the house, I’ll solve a puzzle and then do a bit of work (and within that I break things down further like I’ll put 5 things away, or do x amount of something, etc.) and then go onto the next puzzle, and go on alternating between doing the things I need to do and relaxing / brain training and for me this ‘system’ really does work and keeps me calm, focused on my tasks a little at a time, and efficient. Doing this frees up time for me to have more spare time as well when the environment and living space I’m in is conducive to relaxation, rest and creativity.

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Sometimes when we think of revisiting hobbies that we’ve maybe laid aside for awhile, we can feel similarly overwhelmed as when we have a lot of housework etc. to do. But we can make this manageable for ourselves too, and make better use of our time.

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Think of your indoor hobbies. What would you ideally do on a cold, cosy winter’s evening? Now think of the amount of time you spend with your devices not being particularly productive. By this I don’t mean blogging, because this is a creative outlet and I think can be a very good use of time in connecting with other like minded creative people, and sharing our encouragement and insights with the world to make the world a kinder, more loving and supportive place online. But instead think of the amount of scrolling you do, comparing your life with someone else’s, looking at the latest celebrity gossip, going from one funny cat or baby video on You Tube to another, or binging for hours on your favourite box sets. I’m guilty of all of the above just like most of us probably are, but the problem is if it becomes a habit that interferes with us living our real and best lives for ourselves. It’s fine to every now and then ‘switch off’ from the world and look at things online, but it really shouldn’t be what we spend most of our free time doing, and I know that I am making changes to make better use of my time as it’s all too easy to get lost and entangled in this inter-web isn’t it?

Winter time is the perfect time to reignite your enjoyment of your indoor hobbies. And you don’t need to spend hours at a time doing them if that isn’t practical. For example, I enjoy playing the violin, particularly using it as an instrument to worship God with. It brings me joy, but it can for a long time sit in its case, untouched in the corner of the room, because I think ‘I’ll get back to it someday.’ But shouldn’t every day of our lives be that someday in some way? What I mean to say is that everyday should be the day to do something meaningful and worthwhile. And so maybe I’ll play my violin for ten minutes one night, but that in itself is a beautiful gift to be able to do.

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I also love adult colouring in, and have taken this up as a hobby which I do not just for enjoyment but also to develop my skills in art and creativity, and there is a whole community out there of people who display their wonderful creations online, on forums, on YouTube videos, and whatever you may think of adult colouring in, believe me, there are some fantastic artists out there (‘colourists’) who create masterpieces of the highest quality, and this is something that I aspire to. And notwithstanding that, it is a beautiful way to relax. Instead of thinking that I need to spend hours pouring into this hobby, maybe I can spend 10 or 15 minutes working at it in the evenings before turning the TV (or in my case, ‘laptop’ as I don’t have a TV) on. Doing a little of what you enjoy everyday, over a life time all adds up, and it can bring joy to others as well as you share your gifts.

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What about crafts? Isn’t this the perfect opportunity to put your talents to use and make some homemade cards or decorations or whatever craft you do, to give as gifts to the people you care about, as well as exploring the possibility of selling your home made items to raise money for charity? A few years ago I had my first ever craft stall at work around Christmas time. I decided to use the money raised to give to a homeless charity in the city. Last year I decided to try out a new hobby, making jewellery particularly beaded bracelets and necklaces with charms, and I spent the wintery nights preparing a good collection of these which I later sold to raise money for the same homeless charity as well as a children’s charity. Now, this wasn’t anything extravagant, or needing a great deal of skill, but it was a fun way to try something new, to use my time (even while watching my favourite programmes – don’t you just love hobbies that allow you to multitask?! 🙂 ) and to encourage other people and do something helpful at the same time.

Some of our hobbies can be just for the sheer joy they bring in and of themselves, of honing our skills, learning new techniques, connecting with other like minded people, or even passing on what we’ve learned to our friends, family and the younger generations.

My God-son and his dad enjoy spending time together doing wood-crafts. Some of them are quite simple, but turn out beautifully like little model rocking chairs crafted out of wooden clothes pegs glued together. Think of the wonderful memories you could make, as well as the wonderful gifts, from spending time connecting with people or even on your own giving yourself time to grow, learn, improve and contemplate.

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What are your favourite indoor hobbies that you’d like to pick up again? Could this wintertime be the chance for you to rediscover them? I’m curious to know what people enjoy doing – painting, music, reading, writing, arts and crafts, model making, jewellery making, pottery, embroidery, quilt-making, baking, making Christmas decorations, knitting, sewing, weaving, photography, scrapbooking, wood-carving…..? I’m sure there are so many more that I have overlooked, and many more that I may never even have heard of.

If you’d like to share, I’d love to hear about what your favourite hobbies are, and I hope you have and create the time, even if just a little time at the moment, to get back into the things that make you feel that enjoyment and creativity! 🙂

 

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Winter Survival Guide (14) ~ Spread Some Kindness, Love and Cheer.

The slowing of the seasons brings with them a natural point of reflection and contemplation in our days. I personally find that as they days and nights grow colder, when darkness arrives early and the temperature suddenly drops, as shops begin to fill with decorations, and as we see those lovely cosy advertisements of warm, happy, fun filled, bountiful festivities reminding us to shop for good food at low prices, and to buy the latest gifts for our friends, families and loved ones, and ourselves, that the contrast between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’ becomes starker.

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I feel blessed to live where I live – a city with green spaces such as parks. It means that I can get away from the hustle and bustle of life and enjoy nature, but also that I’m not hiding myself away from or secluded from the harsher realities of other people’s lives.

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In one day, walking through my city, I could have spent some peaceful times of solitude reflecting upon beautiful autumn and winter scenes in the park, watching squirrels and ducks, and maybe stopping for a coffee or going for lunch or to the shops with friends, in any one of numerous locations. But I also will inevitably walk past a number of homeless people, those who are cold, vulnerable, forgotten, lonely, with nowhere to go and nothing to eat. Sometimes I will stop and talk to one of them or offer some food or give out a pre-prepared ‘care package’ that I’ve made, and give what I can as I am able and when it is safe to do so. (Obviously it’s important to keep ourselves safe, and to be aware that not everyone is genuine, therefore I am careful to either help via homeless charities, and / or to help directly when in well lit places, near shops and where other people are coming and going, because I feel that is safer for a young woman to do so, and to do so in daylight, or if in the evening, only when I am in company with friends for example).

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I feel blessed to have these contrasting perspectives. It is lovely to spend time in beautiful places, enjoying ‘the good life’ even if that is in the simple things such as a walk in the park, lunch with a friend, taking photographs of wildlife, going to the cinema or wandering around the shops to do some window shopping. It’s also lovely as Christmas approaches to enjoy the variety of Christmas markets in my city and other neighbouring cities that are only an hour or so travel time away. However, some of my most poignant memories of going to these lovely, bright, beautiful, cosy and festive Christmas markets, stocked with handmade goodies, with delicious smells wafting invitingly by, are those of seeing the people at the edges, at the fringes, hoping for some compassion, and knowing that they will be forgotten about, overlooked, and maybe even that they may not make it through the night as the temperature falls. While my friends, family and I can enjoy the outdoor fun because we know we will have a warm place to go afterwards, many all around us do not.

Even if you aren’t face to face with those who are marginalised and suffering and unable to meet their daily and basic needs, for whatever reason they find themselves in that position, we are still all part of a world, a society in which those who have far less than us exist.

It can be easy to feel ‘guilty’ for enjoying what we can, or for feeling overwhelmed and helpless. Yes, I know that problems of homelessness and so forth exist all year around, however, I feel that it must be so much more painful during certain times of the year when those sitting on the pavements of our cities see everyone else frivolously throwing their money away on unnecessary frivolities, things they don’t care for or need, and enjoying themselves in a way that is more apparent than during other months.

I can’t imagine how hard that must be for someone watching on, hoping for a scrap of food, human contact or some small offering of compassion.

I know some people have their views and judgements and stereotypes, but I prefer not to judge why someone is in the position they are in. Rather, I think “There but for the Grace of God go I” and in such a situation what would I want my fellow human beings to do?

There is a lot that we just cannot do. However, don’t let that discourage you.

Think of all the many good things you can do, or be involved in, and even if you do ‘just’ one thing, that will mean something to someone, and that someone matters as much as you do. If each one of us adds one act of kindness for someone in need this season in addition to all the gifts we give to people we know and love, think of the difference that will make to those who otherwise would be forgotten, marginalised, lost, alone, hungry, cold and in need of some human kindness.

 

 

 

 

Winter Survival Guide (13) ~ Sleep well.

During those holiday days when you may not have the structure of your usual routine, it can be easy to fall into bad sleep patterns. That’s not to say you can’t stay up late, but just over all make sure that you are getting the right amount of sleep for your wellbeing, I think between 7 to 8 hours a night is recommended. Try not to oversleep or deprive yourself of sleep, and if you need to nap during the day from time to time, then perhaps the winter ‘hibernation’ and holiday period affords a good opportunity for you to catch up on your rest and recharge your body and mind.

Keep everything in balance as much as you can. You might have a lot of events to attend to (or you may not) such as family gatherings, work nights out, meeting up with friends, or maybe travel as well. Be careful not to overstretch yourself while you try to make the most of your time, and be mindful of how important good sleep is for your overall health and wellbeing.

Rest well. 🙂

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Winter Survival Guide (12) ~ A little light exercise does wonders for your wellbeing.

Ah, that wonderful time of the year to huddle up indoors, stay warm and cosy, and indulge in some relaxation. Now, be honest here, what does that tend to look like for you? How much time will you spend curled up on your sofa watching your favourite shows or films and munching on chocolate and / or party food?

Maybe it’s not quite the time of year for that yet, but it does inevitably come around, and unless you’re already quite health conscious it can become all too easy to let things slip.
The result? Feeling sluggish, tired, lethargic, sleepy, a bit heavy and maybe bloated, and in full on hibernation mode. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If you are stuck indoors during the winter, this can mean limited activity, but it doesn’t inevitably have to mean no activity.

Just think how much more wonderful your holiday season will be if you are feeling bright and alert and at your best, as far as is possible.  You’ll be more ‘switched on’ to be able to enjoy the special moments you and your loved ones hopefully are creating, and you will be able to engage better with the people around you. Even if you are facing a particularly hard time this season, taking care of your body and mind will help you to deal better with your challenges and build your resilience through it.

You don’t need to go to the gym, or lift weights or go out for a jog in the cold weather. You can find a few simple activities that work for you that you can do in the comfort of your own home, doing a bit of strength training which you can do with your own body weight, and some cardio. Once again, you don’t need to spend hours at a time working out. Just keep active, little and often if that works best for you, and you’ll feel the difference within you as your heart gets moving and pumps more oxygen to your brain and muscles keeping you alert and feeling better than if you otherwise were just slumped on the sofa.

There is no shortage of inspiration out there. I personally like to follow a few fitness trainers on You Tube, which is absolutely free to do so, and comes with the added benefit of not having to feel self conscious if you’re not comfortable with going to the gym or outside to exercise.

A little at a time throughout the winter season will work wonders for your mind, your energy levels and your waistline!

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p.s. Did the cat picture make you yawn? 😉 Time to get moving! 🙂