If you’ve searched for ‘mental health’ and have come across my page, then chances are you might be going through a bit of a difficult time, or a stressful day.
You’re not alone, your brain is ‘normal’
One of the most difficult parts of struggling with mental health ups and downs is that on the surface it can seem like everything is fine, while inside our own minds we might feel like we’re drowning. We might also look around us and the people around us might seem to be thriving outwardly and ‘living their best lives’. The past few years have had a global impact and have affected individuals in a variety of ways. As I write, I continue to recover from long-Covid and it’s various ups and downs. The other day I managed to make it out to the office, I looked well, I felt happy in myself and had a nice time with colleagues – now a few days on and I’ve been resting in bed with various symptoms, and if you have experienced long-Covid then you know that it affects your nervous system, anxiety levels and mental health quite significantly at times, as well as brain function. But in terms of anxiety and mental health generally, all else being equal and nothing medically being wrong in other ways with the brain, then it’s an important note to say that you, I, we are not alone in these challenges. This squishy blob in our heads is a truly weird and wonderful organ and it can often feel like something is ‘wrong’ especially with anxiety, stress, etc, but you’re not alone, and it is quite normal to have uncomfortable experiences mentally, especially when struggling physically, or with other stresses in life.
Facing overwhelm
Our brains like to ‘overprotect’ us – and this can sometimes feel like they’re tempting us to press the self destruct button. Our amygdala, like a little threat detection system in the brain panics at the slightest threat and brings up all sorts of thoughts, images, ‘memories’, fearful projections and uncomfortable sensations especially if there has been past trauma etc and you might be experiencing some of these things as you read this, so effective is this part of the brain, that even when sitting in a completely safe moment it can be sounding that alarm bell – loudly, quite loudly in our brains / our minds. When faced with overwhelm we might also lose sight of our ‘best self’ of how it feels to be the person we like being in good times, when we feel our best, and feel settled, safe, secure and in the present moment – and we might experience unwanted negative thoughts or false beliefs like not being good enough, unable to cope, or replaying negative things said or done to us even if they have been superseded by countless compliments – our brains don’t fixate on the good stuff in such times of stress, they want us to fight, flee or freeze as a defence mechanism – even when there isn’t an actual threat – because perceived danger is taken very seriously by the amygdala. We might start worrying about the future, about the end of the world, about how we’ll look after those we care about, about how we’ll survive, or be the person we’re ‘meant to be’ and this can spiral into moments of depressive thoughts and feelings that we’re not good enough, are a failure, can’t cope, and so the list of lies goes on, as if our own minds are attacking from the inside. Have you ever experienced this? You’re not alone. So what can we do? We can focus on the space around us, directly around us, outside our heads. We can breathe, we can take life 5 minutes at a time. This might be noticing the screen we’re reading or typing on. Taking a deep breath. Slowing down. Noticing the colour of the chair we’re sitting on. Listening to the sounds around us, the buzz of the computer, the sound of traffic outside, the rain pattering on the window, and once again our breath, calming the mind down and bringing it out of its fearful imaginings and back into the present moment, even but for a moment. Sometimes I like to look at photographs, of the times I am my ‘best self’, happy, healthy, with friends, looking pretty, strong, capable, smart, kind, adventurous, helping others, having fun, even if there were stresses behind the surface, which sometimes we like to try to block out, I look at these moments to help ground me, bring me out of my mind and remind myself I’m a valuable person, and that those times can come again. It can be hard work being a human being and you’re not alone and maybe you can find something to remind yourself of how important you are whether it is a picture of yourself, with friends or family, or a list of your good qualities or good things in your life, or even a list of things outside yourself that you are grateful for. Remembering the friends you have who think so much of you, to help drown out the lies or negative thoughts in times of stress. It can be easy to compare your difficult moment with the joyous moments of others, especially on social media, but we need to stay in our own lanes. I personally need to look to Jesus, and away from as a hymn by the Getty’s beautifully puts it ‘lesser lights and fleeting shadows’. Sometimes it is hard to do this, but to even keep one word of truth in mind can help, and to know He Is the Good Shepherd Who laid down His life for me, and is reaching for me when I can’t help myself is a good reminder that I can rest in that and relax a bit and stop trying to fix everything and just breathe and chill. Whatever you look to while your brain is telling you to freak out or scare you with past memories or prepare you for the end of the world, or make you feel bad that you’re not who you were or who you want to be or where you think you ought to be, just focus on the next 5 minutes. Even if that is going to take a nap and rest your overwhelmed system. Even if that is finding a positive distraction, or just getting through the rest of the day. It’s ok, life is made up of kaleidoscopic moments, ever changing, ebbing flowing, there are some dark pieces in there, but they can form a beautiful pattern in the right light.
So if you are feeling stressed or uncomfortable or overwhelmed or anxious or down today, know you’re not alone, it’s part of being human, and think of what you can do to help yourself in the next five minutes and just take life a little at a time, that’s all anyone can do, and all these little moments will add up to a bigger picture.
Take care, and know you’re not alone. You are unique, fearfully and wonderfully made, and have dignity and worth as a human being, so even if your mind is being unkind, find ways to be kind to yourself in this moment. x